We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995-96 • Physicists to start dropping large metal balls to see if gravity still exists • Yet another Tepper startup discovered to be overly complex Ponzi Scheme • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • RA finds Olympic torch during room check • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Monkey business fails to succeed in ever competitive economy • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • "Nobody's seen the drama students in a month, should we check on them?", says concerned RA • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • Bechdel Test added to autograder • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • Creator of Bradford pear tree amongst first to be killed on invention of time travel • NEW RECORD: 3 CMU students manage to have sex over Carnival, allegedly with other humans • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Parents devastated after conversion therapy causes teen to lose interest in computer science • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • UN rejects Readme bit for diplomatic immunity • CMU's Drug Problem: Where are all the drugs? • Several students observed staring transfixed at Pausch Bridge's RGB lighting: "If not gaming, why gaming colored?" • Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling • Lube offered for Wean holes • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser. • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995-96. • Physicists to start dropping large metal balls to see if gravity still exists. • Yet another Tepper startup discovered to be overly complex Ponzi Scheme • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • RA finds Olympic torch during room check • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Monkey business fails to succeed in ever competitive economy • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • "Nobody's seen the drama students in a month, should we check on them?", says concerned RA • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • Bechdel Test added to autograder. • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • Creator of Bradford pear tree amongst first to be killed on invention of time travel. • NEW RECORD: 3 CMU students manage to have sex over Carnival, allegedly with other humans • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Parents devastated after conversion therapy causes teen to lose interest in computer science. • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen. • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it. • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • UN rejects Readme bit for diplomatic immunity. • CMU's Drug Problem: Where are all the drugs? • Several students observed staring transfixed at Pausch Bridge's RGB lighting: "If not gaming, why gaming colored?" • Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling • Lube offered for Wean holes. • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In
A question stumping experts around the globe has finally been solved: why does Carnegie Mellon have an English department? For decades people have wondered who would possibly attend CMU just to get a degree in Creative Writing when everyone knows literary analysis is for losers. README has recently conducted a …
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