The Revolution is coming, just let me get off my SSRIs first • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers • CMU football wins ten consecutive Heismans, CMU students still not going to games • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • "Fire!" and other things to shout during a popular movie • "Readme more popular than the Beatles", Jesus claims • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Artemis 2's local Claude instance hallucinates, makes a call to the "blow_up_ship_violently_with_cameras_watching" API • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Heart in Work now considered dangerous conditions, scientists aghast • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • GOOD NEWS! 3rd Amendment Repealed: Veteran housing crisis resolved • District Attorney unable to rule out murder as Buggy Alumni Association hit • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • Carnegie Mellon administration to consider using Booths as freshman housing for 2025 • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • The Revolution is coming, just let me get off my SSRIs first • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers. • CMU football wins ten consecutive Heismans, CMU students still not going to games. • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • "Fire!" and other things to shout during a popular movie. • "Readme more popular than the Beatles", Jesus claims • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Artemis 2's local Claude instance hallucinates, makes a call to the "blow_up_ship_violently_with_cameras_watching" API. • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Heart in Work now considered dangerous conditions, scientists aghast • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • GOOD NEWS! 3rd Amendment Repealed: Veteran housing crisis resolved. • District Attorney unable to rule out murder as Buggy Alumni Association hit. • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • Carnegie Mellon administration to consider using Booths as freshman housing for 2025 • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children. • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?"
In a landslide victory, George Michael has successfully secured his victory in the 2024 Presidential Election. This marks the first time a third-party candidate has ever won a presidential election in United States History. Michael is also the first animal to reach the position of Commander in Chief since Garfield’s …